Monkey Mind-String 4

Week 18

I stood in a warriors stance that I had seen somewhere in some anime movie, in waiting. I was ruthlessly determined to win back my Freedom of Mind and solace within, and my stance was a perfect reflection of my intention. The Sword of Truth, a three-foot broadsword, was glowing Neon Pink. I watched intently The Monkey, The Pig, and The Ass slowly mosey around the darkness in the glow of my sword. I didn’t know who I would conquer first. Then, I felt a heaviness in my pocket. A heaviness I hadn’t felt in a very long time. My phone. My cellphone had returned. I began to panic; but the panic was soft and internalized. I placed my sword on the ground slowly, took the phone out of my pocket, and turned it on.

Without even a moment to catch my breath, The Monkey leaped with great speed and ferocity upon my shoulders and began screaming commands into my ear. I no longer had quiet in my mind and I no longer had my sword of Truth to protect me. I was using both hands to fulfill The Monkey’s requests. It instructed me to bounce around from app to app without reason or purpose; just to check! It instructed me to go to that site and then that site and then that site and then the site that I had already visited. The Monkey commanded that I scroll all the way to the bottom of these news publications without even being able to remember what it was I had been exposed to. I had no recollection of what I had read. I was moving so fast! I went from news publications, to my email application, to social media, to the weather, to checking my bank balance, to watching videos, all within a span of what felt like two and a half minutes, but ended up being about five hours in actuality.

“MAKE YOUR DECISION, NOW!” I heard from the rafters. I would have never found an escape by making a slow and balanced choice to place my phone down after five hours, I was so throughly enslaved by that point. What I ended up doing was just tossing my cell phone, spontaneously, in the air as high as I could throw it. While The Monkey agonizingly kept his eyes on the device racing back toward the cold concrete floor, I picked up my Sword of Truth with my left hand and with my right pulled The Monkey within from off my shoulders and sliced his body in half. Though I knew I had already killed it, I landed one final blow between his eyes.

I had not won a victory, though I had freed my Self from another binding rope of this place. I had been able to distract The Monkey within by focusing on the time that I had wasted, the focus that was robbed from me, and the absurdity and the stupidity of the majority of Human Action on this planet. Although I had faith in my values, ethics, and morality, my weakness was still so profoundly present. I think it would always be. How could I have breathed through The Monkey screaming, rather than bowed to it? There must be a way to take that abuse in order to keep my sanity. I covered my hands in the blood of The Monkey, laid on the ground, and wept for two weeks straight.