The Impenetrable Individual
The applause thundered through the eternal Colosseum and woke me up from my nap. I had been dreaming of what seemed to be The Divine Love, the love and acceptance of Self, but It was personified in my dream by a Woman who seemed so familiar to me yet shockingly alien. I was speaking with her…or myself…intimately yet she was always perched on a high ledge and was too far away for me to feel as though I had been given permission to cultivate a meaningful relationship. I do remember there was a moment in the dream where I hypothesized that if I spoke quieter, even though she was far away, she would hear me better and come closer making it easier for me to feel her glow. I tried it, and spoke in a whisper, and the next thing I knew I heard her reply within my skull and could feel her spirit tubing down my bloodstream.
There was still an ancient beast to be defeated. I could hear the booming tones of his voice rattle the rock walls of this final hell. I saw him so comfortably sitting upon his throne, with his voice intensely amplified, with production value and a hoard of minions waiting upon each and every syllable of his pronouncements. He spewed nothing but orders. Proclamations of morality and what it would mean to be accepted by the herd. All of the uninitiated in the audience were either recording each and every recommendation with their phones or taking ruthlessly fast notes and carving the notes directly into their skin. “DON’T YOU ALL WANT TO BE LOVED?” the beast boomed. Of course, upon being prompted, the mass wailed and wailed and their spines contorted along with their faces and their hands curled up into fists while they pounded their own faces in with glee.
STEP ONE! SUBMIT! SUBMIT TO YOUR AUTHORITY! SUBMIT TO YOUR LEADER! SUBMIT TO YOUR OFFICIALS! SUBMIT TO ANYONE THAT HAS A BADGE! SUBMIT TO THE CRAGGLY AND OPPORTUNISTIC…I MEAN HOLY DEAD PHILOSOPHERS THAT WE HAVE MARTYRED…FOR YOU! SUBMIT TO ANCIENT MORALITIES THAT NO LONGER MAKE ANY SENSE. IT IS GOOD FOR YOU TO SUBMIT AND I WANT YOU ALL TO DO IT…MORE!
At once, the sea of creatures prostrated themselves to an idea that had long established itself as the rule for those who found themselves at a financial disadvantage. I stood upright and aghast at the absurdity of the willingness to be psychologically raped. While the many were bowed, swaying, and praying I watched hundreds of hairy flying demons snatch up personal belongings and even take advantage of some sexually and return those belongings to the throne. I caught the eye of one poor soul recognize that his notebook and his satchel of gold were being stolen and said nothing and simply went back to praying as though nothing had even happened. The state of affairs indeed. I was disgusted but also at times hysterically laughing to the point of tears running down my face.
I had never heard a more pronounced roar from the rabble.
YOU MUST SEEK ACCEPTANCE FROM THE AUTHORITY FIRST, THEN THE CROWD, AND NEVER YOURSELVES. IF THE CROWD DOES NOT ACCEPT YOU AS A PERSON YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST SEE YOUR SELF AS WORTHLESS AND UGLY AND A WASTE AND YOU MUST DO AWAY WITH YOURSELF EITHER BY SUICIDE OF THE MIND OR BODY. IF YOU FIND YOURSELF DISTANCED FROM THE CROWD OR THEY DO NOT ACCEPT YOU, WATCH MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE TV UNTIL ALL OF YOUR IDEAS ARE PERFECTLY HOMOGENIZED AND YOUR MORALITY SYNCHRONIZED WITH THE REST OF US. USE YOUR PHONES PEOPLE AND ALLOW. THE. PHONE. TO. USE. YOU!!!!
At this point I had barreled over laughing. I had never cackled that hard in my life and I couldn’t stop. I really tried to stop and to not draw so much attention to myself, but I had always had a problem with doing that. I was never good at being silent. As I was rolling on the floor laughing my ass off at the absurdity of this Life and everyone in it, I could feel eyes turning toward my body. First, those immediately around me, then the ripple through the crowd, and then ultimately…of course…
WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY?